Comics: Basil Wolverton On Cartoon Sounds Part Two

This post is just the tip of the iceberg... see reason number 2 on our The Top Ten Reasons To Support The A-HAA for links to more great posts about print cartoonists.


Continuing Basil Wolverton's Acoustics In The Comics from last week...

My publisher pointed at me demandingly. "If you want a raise, every one of your sound effect words will have to be absolutely authentic! In other words, don't draw a single sound word into your strips until you've actually staged the cartoon situation with real people and things!"

As for my publisher's demands, they resulted in my running out of friends and relatives within a week. Neighbors complained about howls and screams emanating from the studio. People sued. The ASPCA hounded me. My wife and fourteen kids swore sudden allegiance to the Progressive party, then fled to Siberia.


Meanwhile, however, I managed to catalog hundreds of authentic sound words- enough to last me for a lifetime of cartooning, and enough I thought, to cover any and all comic situations, regardless of how terrible. I was so proud of my achievement that I showed the lengthy list to my publisher. Here are some of the more subtle sound words describing various clashings, crashings, slashings, bashings, hashings, mashings, etc. Read the situation, then voice the accompanying sound word to yourself, and note how vividly the picture then comes to your mind:

• Pinheaded person pullingg pate out of a pop bottle: FOINK!
  
• Glass eye falling into tomato soup: PLOOP!
  
• Glass eye falling into a pitcher of thick syrup: PLOFF!
  
• Man sitting on short tack: SQUINCH!
  
• Man sitting on long tack: SQUONCH!
  
• Uppers dropping in gob of putty: FLUP!

• Hungry cannibal filing eyetooth: FWATCH!
  
• Man with calloused feet crossing rough linoleum: SKIRP! SKIRP!
  
• Thumb gouging eye: SPOP!
  
• Hot lava speweing on WCTU convention: FOOSK!
  
• Hot lava spewing on Elks' convention: SSSCRISH!
  
• Person skidding on hot stove in bare feet: SCREESH!
  
• Beaver biting into wooden leg: CRASP!
  
• Car crashing into large vat of frogs' eggs: SKWORP!
  
• False teeth falling through skylight: TWUNK!
  
• Sock in the face with Sears Roebuck catalog: PWOSH!
  
• Sock in the face with Montgomery Ward catalog: PWASH!
  
• Octopus slapping a tentacle on bald bean: SPOOP!

• Man dragging toenails over No.2 grade sandpaper: SKARP!
  
• Man falling on face in a barrel of wet teabags: FROMP!
  
• Sock in the kisser with a wet codfish: SCHALAMPF!
  
• Person socking wet halibut with his kisser: SCHLOOF!
  
• Lowers falling into a bucket of cup grease: UNPH!
  
• Man with small head drowning in a glass of tomato juice: GOIK!
  
• Woodpecker hammering on human head: DUD-DUD-DUD-DUD-DUD!
  
• Cannon ball landing in mush of toothless man: FWOCK!
  
• Two bald men colliding headon: KROCK!
  
• Garter snapping on varicose vein: SCHWIPP!
  
• Single BB shot landing on a cow's udder: PWIP!
  
• Person pulling ponderous pate through a puny porthole: SPOOCH!
  
• Bear trap springing on human noggin: SPROCK!
  
• Rat trap springing on person's big toe: SPACK!
  
• Man falling into a garbage can full of spoiled caviar: CROFF!
  
• Surgeon tossing gallstones into empty garbage can: KRANG!
  
• Man with one hair getting a haircut: WHICK!
  
• Person being kicked in the neck: PFWUMPFPH!
  
• Person getting kicked in snappers: PWACK!
  
• Measle germ snapping at skin: SCHLOPP!

If you've been able to struggle through the foregoing list of cartoon words, perhaps now your acoustical sense has been sharpened to the extent that you can readily guess a situation just by reading a sound word. To test your ability, hee is a list of cartoon words denoting various noises. If you can guess the action by which even one of them is produced, then your extremely something or other.

SNIKK / SPIRP / FAMP / SWORP / SPITCH / KANK / IKK / SPRATCH / PWOT / YOTCH / KZEEP / KLISH / FEEMP / SHZWOP / KOPYP


Now check your definitions with the following list. Even if you missed defining all the words, it's no reflection on your intelligence. Fact is, the more you miss, the brighter you probably are. On the other hand, the more you can guess, the better comic strip cartoonist you can become- unless, unfortunately, you're already one.

• SNIKK: The sound made by an African pygmy idly snapping his fingernail against his skull
  
• SPIRP: Nose being caught in an orange juicer
  
• FAMP: Corpulent person falling on back in a vat of peanut butter
  
• SWORP: Meteor hitting obese dame on back of neck
  
• SPITCH: Man sticking his head inside huge dynamo in action
  
• KANK: Crazed horsefly crashing into dome of empty-headed man
  
• IKK: Person with protruding eyeballs falling face down

• SPRATCH: Court plaster being yanked off polose chest
  
• PWOT: Wet socks being tossed into the corner of the room
  
• YOTCH: Post office pen forming the letter O
  
• KZEEP: Man with rusty eyelid winking at gal
  
• KLISH: Man falling on chin on thin crusted beetle
  
• FEEMP: Mole (on chin) being hit with stray buckshot
  
• SHZWOP: Obese dame's girdle splitting out
  
• KOPYP: Skin pore snapping shut on contact with cold air

"Good work!" my publisher mumbled two days later, when he had finished reading the list. "Then I get the raise?" I gurgled hopefully. His brows knitted. (He was working on a pair of socks at the same time.) "Not until you complete that list by adding one more sound word! The word that's missing is the one that describes the sound of a railway train running over a cartoonist's conk!"

"That should be easy," I chirped. "I'll just-" Suddenly, the awful significance of his demand dawned on me. My publisher had conceived of this diabolical plan to prevent my getting a raise. But I would fool him.

A half hour later my noggin was resting uncomfortably on a railroad rail.


They told me later at the hospital that it wasn't too bad. Only 22 cars, plus the locomotive had been derailed. "The train crew wanted the day off anyway" my doctor said. "They will be up later to thank you." While he poured glue in the cracks in my conk, I struggled to recall the exact sound of the locomotive passing over my pate. I became frantic at the thought that it had eluded me. Then I remembered. How could I forget something that had been so forcefully crammed into my mind?

I raced out of the hospital and downtown to my publisher's office. When that man saw the Scotch tape on my skull, he blanched a little. "Did you find out what the sound of a train running over a cartoonist's head is?" he asked. "I did." I announced triumphantly. He leaned expectantly so far forward that his rear suspender buttons flew off, zipped out the window, and nailed a burglar who was ransacking a safe in an office across the street.


"What is the sound?" he asked shakily.
"It is GJDRKZLXCBWQ."
"GJDRKZLXCBWQ?" he queried doubtfully.
"No. It's GJDRKZLXCBWQ. The L is silent."


My publisher is not emotional. I have never known him to be moved to tears. But now his lips quivered violently. Or perhaps he was just trying to get something out of his teeth. "Now I have heard everything!" he blubbered.

"The raise." I reminded him. "How about it?" "The raise? Oh yes. To show my appreciation for collecting the most complete and authentic list of cartoonists' sound words, I'm going to double your salary!" Whereupon he reached into his wallet and tossed me twice as much as I had been getting previously per week.


Then I realized that my list of sound words wasn't quite complete until that moment. In all my life I had never heard that lush, lovely sound. It was a mild, whispery sound, barely audible.

Here it is: FMNW!

It was the sound made by my new doubled salary- two $1.00 bills brushing lightly together.


Thanks to Marc Schirmeister for sharing this with us. Big news for fans of Basil Wolverton! There's an exhibit of his work in Santa Ana! Here are the details courtesy of DougH On The Go

The Original Art of Basil Wolverton
from the Collection of Glenn Bray
September 1 - November 11, 2007
Opening Reception: September 1, 7-10 p.m.
Grand Central Art Center
125 N. Broadway,
Santa Ana, CA 92701
General Phone: 714.567.7233

For more examples of Basil Wolverton's genius, see Basil Wolverton On Cartoon Sounds Part One and Basil Wolverton's Powerhouse Pepper

Also see... Virgil Partch's Wild, Wild Women Part One, Part Two and Part Three, Here We Go Again and Man The Beast. Also see... George Lichty's Grin and Bear It; Milt Gross Sunday Pages Part One, Part Two and Part Three; Jim Tyer Funny Animal Comics; and Milton Knight's Great Brown Pericord Motor.

Stephen Worth
Director
ASIFA-Hollywood
Animation Archive

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